Carmen a la Vegas Drag Show!

This is a Creative Piece I did for a web class my junior year of college. We focused our entire semester on the story of Carmen and were eventually instructed to write our own version of the French Opera. I chose a "screenplay" in the style of vegas. :)

I had a great teacher that taught from Kingman,Arizona who actually committed suicide midway through the semester. It was very sad, but I got a lot out of the class and wanted to share this:

Carmen, A La Vegas Drag Show!

(Curtain opens, displaying piano lounge lizard and quite the studly Elvis Impersonator; complete with white, jeweled jumpsuit).

Don Jose: Thank you, Thank You Very Much. This is a story (strums guitar) of how I lost my love (chorus comes in with ooo's and aaah's) to the King of Vegas himself; Wayne Newton.

(Elvis breaks into a rendition of Heartbreak Hotel).

(Elaborate Drag Queen enters a la John Leguizamo in "To Wong Fu, Thanks for Everything, Julie Neumar. He, or rather SHE, is wearing a red sequence spagetti strap dress, nylons & Hi-heels. She is adorned with a six Inch high hairsproyed Coif and heavy, caked-on makeup).

Don Jose: Carmen, I love you!
Carmen: Yes, honey, but I am your queen Mango (SNL Reference)! Everyone loves me!
Don Jose: But I love you the most. I need you. I want you, baby (We never said Elvis was a good actor).
Carmen: Honey, you may love me but that don't mean I love you. If I do, then you better watch your ass bedcause I am a whooooooooole lotta woman. MMMMMMhmmmmmm!"

(Carmen Sprawls herself out on a piano and begins to sing Christinia Aguillera's "Genie in a Bottle")

Later... In Act TWO:

Carmen Arrives from above, in the rafters, on an elaborate vine swing. The swing lowers, convieniently between Don Jose (Elvis) and Wayne Newton.

Carment is fascinated by both, and so the two men have a sing off to battle for Carmen's Love.

Elbis sings a bit of Love Me Tender.
Wayne cuts him off with Red Roses for a Blue Lady.
Elvis then chimes in with I want you, I need you, I love you.
Wayne, pulling at the swing, wanting her love sings She's My Saturday Night Special!.

Carmen chooses Wayne because he can offer her roses and true love while Elvis can only offer her a pair of blue suede shoes.

(Carmen walks off set arm in arm with Wayne singing Danke Shoen.

Later, while Wayne is off at another show, Elvis and Carmen bump into each other.

Elvis: Give me one more chance, mama!
Carmen: Mmmmhmmm. Honey, you see this ring!? (She/He Holds out her left hand). This is a 9 karet, $200,000 ring! Sweetie Darling, I'm in LOVE! You can't buy me diamonds, dresses or hair glitter. You're nothing but a poor, pathetic, skinny man in a jumpsuit. (Snaps her fingers).

Elivs is hurt, then says: Yes, but can he give you THIS, baby!?

Elvis starts to swivel his trademark hips uncontrollably and Carmen passes out, then dies of excitement.

Elvis:Oh Baby! Baby!!!! No... What Have i DOoooooone!!!!!!!!

Closes with We'll have a Blue Christmas without You.

Curtain Closes.

Fin.